Recovering from Abortion?
“I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.”
— Luke 15:7
Precious child in the Lord Jesus,
I give thanks to our All-compassionate Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Who - because of His limitless love for you – has granted you the grace to return to Him: for forgiveness, for cleansing, for healing of your precious soul. The angels in heaven are indeed rejoicing, in that you have – as did the Prodigal Son – “come to yourself.” Like him, I assume that you have also gone to your Father's “House” and confessed your sin to your spiritual father. If not, I strongly encourage you to do so as soon as possible. Otherwise, the spiritual cancer that was caused by this sin will remain within your soul.
As a man, how can I even begin to understand your pain, my dear child! However, I can proclaim to you – with total confidence – that the pain you are experiencing in your heart is a blessing. It means that you now acknowledge this great sin of abortion; understanding too that the modern methods commonly used to mask this pain in one's soul – i.e., psychological counseling or a lifetime of daily anti-depressants – cannot effectively heal this spiritual affliction.
If you are a man who either insisted that your female partner have an abortion, or agreed with her decision to do so, then I again rejoice at your decision to “come home.” You now realize that you are equally responsible for the death of that innocent child in the womb – that you too need God's forgiveness, His healing grace.
By obtaining this special Akathist, you are crying out to our Most Sweet Lord and Savior Jesus Christ: the One Physician of our souls and bodies, Who alone can heal you. Therefore, do not despair; do not despair! You are now in the tender embrace of the One Who willingly died upon the Cross, so that you can become a citizen of Paradise.
Through His Bride, Our Holy Orthodox Church, He provides you with His forgiveness in the Sacrament of Confession, as well as all the spiritual medications needed to assure your soul's cure from this grave sin.
At the end of the Akathist, you will notice a prayer to our Most Holy Theotokos. I entreat you to always seek her intercession. Our Holy Lady's unique and heavenly maternal love will bring comfort to you, whenever you reach out to her; and she will entreat her Son to give you His healing grace. Be assured that our Lord will head this entreaty of His Mother on your behalf. How could He, Who – at her request – changed water into wine at the wedding of Cana, not heed His Mother's plea for the cure and purification of your wounded soul?
Do not be surprised if you are occasionally reminded in your spirit of this sin. Our All-compassionate Lord permits this – not to cause you despair but to remind you that in spite of this grave sin you are forgiven, you are cleansed. Therefore, daily give thanks to God for His great mercy; and frequently read this Akathist to Him as an expression of your thanksgiving for His never-ending love for you.
In closing, I offer these two suggestions for your consideration: (1) Fervently entreat the Lord to allow you, before you depart this life, to come into contact with at least one woman who is thinking of having an abortion; and that He will give you the grace to be His instrument to prevent her from taking the life of he innocent child. (2) Pray for the soul of your unbaptised child, and that you will be able to share eternity together in the Kingdom of God!
May our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, through the intercessions of His All-Pure Mother Theotokos, embrace your precious soul – filling it with the “peace that surpasses all understanding,” the “hope that does not disappoint,” the “joy that no one can take away,” and the “agape that never ends!”
+Fr. Demetrios Carellas
Akathist of Repentance For One Who Has Aborted a Child
translated from the Russian and published by St. Paisius Orthodox Monastery, Safford, AZ (2006); available as a small prayer book from St. Paisius Orthodox Monastery and from other Orthodox Christian booksellers. (Buy the booklet or scroll down for text below.)
Note: This Akathist can also be offered to God for the benefit of someone else. For example, you can say it for someone who has had an abortion but has not yet repented for this sin. It can also be offered on behalf of a doctor who performs abortions, with the hope that God will lead him or her to repent and to cease from performing additional murders of God's innocent little ones.
AKATHIST OF REPENTANCE FOR ONE WHO HAS ABORTED A CHILD
Kontakion 1
O Lamb of God Who takest away the sins of the world, hear my groaning and attend to the sorrows of my heart; take away my heavy burden of sin, O Thou who hast borne our infirmities; receive me who fall down before Thee in repentance, praying and crying out from the depth of my soul: O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me who am fallen.
Ikos 1
O God and Lord! The creation is Thine, but woe to me: The sin committed by Adam in paradise lives in me and in my body, and like a slave am I always fervently serving it, but now I entreat Thee:
Have mercy on me, O Creator of the world above.
Have mercy on me, O Maker of the world below.
Have mercy on me, O Master of the Heavenly Powers.
Have mercy on me, O Ruler of bodily creatures.
Have mercy on me, O Provider of all things.
Have mercy on me who bring Thee my tears for my sins.
O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me who am fallen.
Kontakion 2
O All-merciful Master, how can I, such an abominable sinner, dare to come to Thee with my prayer, after having broken Thy commandment which Thou gavest me through Thy prophet Moses: Thou shalt not kill. But I am a murderer, and alas a hundred times more cruel than even the serpent which at least allows its offspring to see the light for a short while before devouring them. But I, the wretched one have mercilessly deprived my children not only of the physical light but even more of the true Light, our Lord Jesus Christ, Who grants illumination through the Mystery of Baptism; and, to avoid having many children for the sake of temporal bodily rest, I slew them while they were still in my womb. Wherefore, darkened by these and countless other sins, I hope only in the mercy of Thy compassion and with boldness cry to Thee: Alleluia.
Ikos 2
I have disdained Thy words of life, O Lord, and have walked according to the desires of mine own heart from my youth up to this very day, but now in repentance I cry to Thee, O mine All-compassionate Savior:
Have mercy on me who was conceived in iniquities.
Have mercy on me who was born in sins.
Have mercy on me who have not kept Thy commandments.
Have mercy on me who have been deprived of Thy grace.
Have mercy on me who take no care for my salvation.
Have mercy on me who am caught in the net of the passions.
O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me who am fallen.
Kontakion 3
Good and beautiful it is for brethren to dwell together in unity and to love one another, as Thou didst command us, O our Savior, for he who is angry with his brother is a murderer. But I in my wrath have surpassed all those ever born on earth, even murderers whose victims of different ages and times were slain for various reasons; because I, the wretched one, deprived of life those who had only just received their time of life from Thee, the Giver of Life, and in my madness mercilessly took away their life while they were still in my womb, with no fear of God, and rejecting Thy will and the gift of childbearing blessed by Thee. I willfully pulled out of Thy creating hands my innocent children and was not ashamed to slay them before Thine eyes. But their lot is in Thy right Hand, O Lord, and my sin is ever before me. To Thee alone do I repent, and I pay Thee, O Good One, direct my steps on the path of penitence, so that with all repentant sinners I may sing to Thee: Alleluia.
Ikos 3
Thou who alone knowest human frailty knowest also all my sinful falls. Remember not the sins of my youth, and cleanse me from my secret sins as I cry to Thee:
Have mercy on me, a great sinner.
Have mercy on me, a transgressor of God's law.
Have mercy on me, a violator of Thy testament.
Have mercy on me for with evil have I repaid Thee, O my Master.
Have mercy on me who come to Thee in repentance at the eleventh hour.
Have mercy on me, the wretched slayer of children.
O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me who am fallen.
Kontakion 4
O Giver of Life, Heavenly King, come and abide in me who am defiled by sins, and cleanse me from every impurity, and save my soul, O Good One, so that being saved I may cry to Thee: Alleluia.
Ikos 4
I have gone astray like a sheep that is lost; O my God, seek me Thy servant, who from Thy commandments have gone astray into the impassible thicket of passions and self-will. Save me, the unworthy one, for lamenting I pray to Thee fervently and cry out:
Have mercy on me who am heavy-laden with self-willed sins.
Have mercy on me who am darkened by passions.
Have mercy on me who am carried away with pride.
Have mercy on me who am consumed by envy.
Have mercy on me who am filled with unrighteousness.
Have mercy on me, O Thou who desirest not the death of the sinner.
Have mercy on me, the intentional murderer of my children.
O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me who am fallen.
Kontakion 5
Wheresoever Thou wishest, O my Almighty God, there the order of nature is overcome; conquer the sinful nature which lives in me, and its power which drags me toward sin, for Thou art the Creator of all things and the Fashioner of nature. By Thy Divine grace renew a right spirit within me, cast me not away from Thy face, and take not Thy Holy Spirit from me. Wipe away the deadly stamp of child-slayer which was deservedly placed upon my soul, placed by Thy just judgment in accordance with the sixth commandment of Thy law: Thou shalt not kill. Restore Thine eternal covenant to us, O Lord, which I have broken by my sins, and return my former virtues which were lost through sin, so that without hindrance I may cry out to Thee: Alleluia.
Ikos 5
Who has ever sinned as I the wretched one? What sin have I not committed? What evil has not been imagined in my soul? But with a penitent heart and tears I come to Thee, O All-compassionate Lord, crying out:
Have mercy on me Thine unfaithful servant.
Have mercy on me who am hardened in sins.
Have mercy on me who hate my neighbor.
Have mercy on me who offend in word and deed.
Have mercy on me who am defiled in soul and body.
Have mercy on me for my conscience is burned up.
Have mercy on me, a child-slayer like Herod.
O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me who am fallen.
Kontakion 6
With the rays of Thy grace, O Lord, illumine the vesture of my soul, O Giver of Light, and save me so that rejoicing I may sing to Thee: Alleluia.
Ikos 6
Great is the multitude of my transgressions, O Christ, and all my life is like a dark and gloomy night. But despairing not of Thy compassion, O my Savior, like David I cry to Thee:
Have mercy on me who have wasted all my life in laziness.
Have mercy on me who am negligent in prayer for my sins.
Have mercy on me who am ungrateful for Thy good inspirations to repent.
Have mercy on me who have not honored Thy law nor kept Thy commandments.
Have mercy on me, for I have loved the world and that which is in the world.
Have mercy on me, for I have spent the days of my life in worldly vanity.
Have mercy on me, who following the laws of this age and disdaining the childbearing blessed by Thee, have committed child-murder.
O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me who am fallen.
Kontakion 7
Unto Thee in heaven I lift up mine eyes, O Word of God, but my weak nature draws me down, O my Savior. O Creator of heaven and earth and of all that is in them! Raise me up in thought and deed toward that which is above, so that I may always victoriously sing to Thee with heart and lips: Alleluia.
Ikos 7
I have an eye that is evil and filled with every impurity, and am ever captivated by the delusion of this world, wherefore I entreat Thee, O All-good One, turn mine eyes away from seeing vanity, that I may call out to Thee in supplication:
Have mercy on me who am thirsting to serve Thee faithfully.
Have mercy on me who desire to worship Thee in spirit and in truth.
Have mercy on me who bring Thee the tears of my repentance as a sacrifice for my sins.
Have mercy on me who ask of Thee forgiveness for the slaying of my children.
Have mercy on me who look to Thee for deliverance from my passions.
Have mercy on me who am weeping intensely over my grievous mortal sins.
Have mercy on me, a murderer deserving judgment both Divine and human.
O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me who am fallen.
Kontakion 8
Spare me, O Lord my Savior, O Thou Who camest into the world to save sinners of whom I am worst of all, but I entreat Thee, O my All-compassionate God, incline Thy heart to mercy, hearken to the groanings of my heart, accept my flowing springs of tears, the fervent prayers of my soul, O my beloved Saviour, so that I may sing to Thee: Alleluia.
Ikos 8
Evil thoughts like robbers attacked me while my conscience slept – woe is me! For my sins I have been deprived of the radiant vesture given me at my Baptism. I committed the murder of my children and have remained stripped of virtue, but I try hard to raise mine eyes on high – cast down because of the multitude of the cruel deeds committed before Thee, O Lord – and I cry out thus to Thee:
Have mercy on me who have committed a mortal sin.
Have mercy on me who up till now have persisted in sins.
Have mercy on me who am filled with every kind of evil.
Have mercy on me who am stained with iniquities contrary to nature.
Have mercy on me who have not preserved the purity on my virginity.
Have mercy on me for I have deprived myself of pious motherhood.
Have mercy on me who have cast my children out of the womb before the fullness of their time.
O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me who am fallen.
Kontakion 9
Grant me streams of tears, O my God, that I may weep over my sins, and thus rejoicing may cry out: Alleluia.
Ikos 9
I have defiled my body with sinful secrets, I have darkened my soul with indecent acts; my body is enfeebled, enfeebled also is my soul. Falling down before Thee Who alone rememberest not wrongs, my merciful Judge and God, I pray Thee:
Have mercy on me, a murderer: for the remembrance of the fate of my aborted children brings me fear and trembling and unspeakable astonishment – how Thou, O merciful Lord and most righteous Judge, dost continue to endure me and do good to me, an inhabitant of hell, even up to this very day and hour, awaiting my repentance.
Have mercy on me who more than once have promised to amend, but again returned to sins as a dog to its vomit.
Have mercy on me who have committed a number of murders.
Have mercy on me for without the fear of God or maternal love for children but with the fury of a wild beast have I torn apart my children.
Have mercy on me for of mine own free will have I committed my sins.
Have mercy on me who have defiled my spirit with foul thoughts.
Have mercy on me for I have led a sinful life even to this very day.
O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me who am fallen.
Kontakion 10
I have been wounded by the seductive charm of this world and have bent my knees before it, having chosen the ruinous path of its disgusting law, having forgotten my Baptismal vows; and committing trespasses one after the other, doing whatever the world whispered to me, I ultimately reached the very peak of mortal sins: the murder of children. But, O Father, open to me Thine embrace, O my God, hasten, so that at least before my end I may offer Thee a sacrifice of praise, exclaiming: Alleluia.
Ikos 10
Robbers, murderers, thieves, and all unrepentant sinners shall not inherit the kingdom of God. And by every unrighteousness and all detestable sins have I defiled my body and soul; because of this misery of my soul, falling down before Thee I cry:
Have mercy on me who was born in the New Testament of Thy grace-filled Kingdom.
Have mercy on me who was received into the Church fashioned by Thee.
Have mercy on me who was sealed with the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
Have mercy on me who was nourished by Thy most Pure Body and Thy Life-giving Blood.
Have mercy on me who was baptised in Christ and clothed in Christ.
Have mercy on me who cast away all these benefactions and chose a life of sin.
O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me who am fallen.
Kontakion 11
Grant me a spirit of chastity, O Lord and Master of my life, for from my youth have I been bereft of virtue, have I enslaved myself to passions: I have defiled my spirit and soul and have corrupted my body. O God of mercies and compassion! Disdain not to cleanse me, a detestable sinner – I am Thy creature, have mercy on me, and purify me from all defilement of flesh and spirit, and vouchsafe me to sing to Thee with boldness: Alleluia.
Ikos 11
Reject not, O Lord, the hope of my heart which trusts in Thee; and put me not to shame before angels and men at Thy Just and Dread Judgement. Judge me not then according to my deeds, but according to Thy mercy forgive all my sins as I cry to Thee:
Have mercy on me who have an unclean heart.
Have mercy on me who am taken captive by demonic captivity.
Have mercy on me who was born in sins, washed clean by Baptism, and again like a swine, have fallen into iniquity.
Have mercy on me who bear the fetid sores of my soul's fall into sin.
Have mercy on me who from my grievous and mortal falls have fallen into despondency and despair.
Have mercy on me who have committed every sin and deserve every punishment.
Have mercy on me, O my Creator, and receive me in repentance who am fallen.
O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me who am fallen.
Kontakion 12
With the breadth of Thy love, O my God, cover all the sins of my transgressions, accepting my repentance, so that in love for Thee I may ever cry: Alleluia.
Ikos 12
I have passed my youth in senselessness and wasted all my life in sins, in slothfulness and disregard of repentance; but mine old age, through fear of death and Thine inescapable Judgement, has brought me to repentance. Reject me not, O my Saviour, who even at the eleventh hour have come to Thy Fatherly embrace, crying out in repentance:
Have mercy on me, for the blood on mine innocent children cries to Thee, bearing witness to my having slain them.
Have mercy on me, O my God Triune in Nature; have mercy on me, O Lord Who art most wondrous in compassion.
Have mercy on me, O Master, Who art longsuffering concerning our transgressions.
Have mercy on me, O Holy King, Who healest our infirmities.
Have mercy on me, O Thou Who art abundant in love, Who with Thy love warmest even despairing sinners.
Have mercy on me, O Almighty, Who hast borne our infirmities.
O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me, who am fallen.
Kontakion 13
The sign of the Son of Man, the Most Precious and Life-giving Cross, shall appear in the heavens on that day of the terrible Second Coming of the Son of God, the Judge of the living and the dead. Then shall all the tribes of the earth begin to weep. O Jesus Christ, our Savior and Judge, and King of all! Grant me before that day tears of repentance, that I may more fervently weep over my evil deeds and destructive actions by which I have befouled my soul and bitterly offended Thy Most Pure Blood of Thy Testament! So that thus, together with the angels and all the saints and righteous ones I may then sing to Thee: Alleluia. (Thrice.)
(And again, Ikos 1 and Kontakion 1)
Kontakion 1
O Lamb of God Who takest away the sins of the world, hear my groaning and attend to the sorrows of my heart; take away my heavy burden of sin, O Thou who hast borne our infirmities; receive me who fall down before Thee in repentance, praying and crying out from the depth of my soul: O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me who am fallen.
Ikos 1
O God and Lord! The creation is Thine, but woe to me: The sin committed by Adam in paradise lives in me and in my body, and like a slave am I always fervently serving it, but now I entreat Thee:
Have mercy on me, O Creator of the world above.
Have mercy on me, O Maker of the world below.
Have mercy on me, O Master of the Heavenly Powers.
Have mercy on me, O Ruler of bodily creatures.
Have mercy on me, O Provider of all things.
Have mercy on me who bring Thee my tears for my sins.
O Lord, my Lord, my joy, have mercy on me who am fallen.
First Prayer
O Master, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God! Who out of Thy most great goodness, for the sake of us men and for our salvation, hast been clothed in flesh and been crucified and buried, and Who by Thy Blood has renewed our nature which had become corrupt: receive my repentance for my sins and hear my words: I have sinned, O Lord, against heaven and before Thee, in word and deed, in soul and body, and in the thoughts of my mind; I have transgressed Thy Commandments, I have not obeyed Thine injunction, I have angered Thy goodness, O my God; but because I am Thy creation I despair not of salvation and dare to draw near to Thy boundless compassion and pray to Thee: O Lord! Grant me in repentance a contrite heart, receive me as I pray and grant me a good thought; grant me the resolve to confess my sins, grant me tears of compunction, O Lord; grant me by Thy grace to make a good beginning. Have mercy on me, O God, Have mercy on me who am fallen, and remember me, Thy sinful servant, in Thy Kingdom, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Another Prayer
O God, O Christ Jesus Most Compassionate, O Redeemer of sinners: for the salvation of mankind Thou, O All-merciful One, didst leave the all-glorious heavens and come to dwell in this vale of sorrows and many sins; Thou didst take upon Thy Divine shoulders our weaknesses and didst bear our infirmities; Thou, O Holy Sufferer, wast wounded for our sins and tortured for our transgressions; therefore, to Thee, O Lover of mankind, even we raise up our humble entreaties: accept them, O Most Good Lord, and condescend to our infirmities, and remember not our sins, and turn away from us the threat of recompense for our sins.
O Thou Who by Thy Most Precious Blood hast renewed our fallen nature, O Lord Jesus Christ our Savior, renew even us who are in the corruption of sins, and console our hearts with the joy of Thine all-encompassing forgiveness. With cries of lamentation and unending tears of repentance we fall down at the feet of Thy Divine loving-kindness; by Thy grace cleanse us all, O our God, from all unrighteous acts, all the iniquities of our life, so that in the holiness of Thy Love for mankind we may praise Thine all-holy name, together with the Father and the Most Good and Life-giving Spirit, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
A Prayer to the Most Holy Lady Theotokos
Open unto us the door of Thy loving kindness, O Blessed Theotokos, so that hoping in Thee we may not perish, but through Thee may be delivered from adversities, for Thou art the salvation of the Christian race. Rejoice, O Thou Only Most Pure Mother of our Only Creator, our Lord and God and Saviour Jesus Christ!
Be for me an intercessor at the dreadful Day of Judgement, when I shall stand before the throne of the Impartial Judge, that by Thy prayers I may be delivered from the threat of fiery torment, O Only Blessed One.
(Prostrations)
O Most Holy Theotokos, save us!
Prayer of a believing mother to the Compassionate Lord for those souls whose death she has consciously caused while they were still in her womb:
Remember, O Lord, Who lovest mankind, the souls of Thy departed servants – the infants who died in the wombs of Orthodox mothers, whether in an unforeseen manner from accidental effects, or from a difficult birth, or from some heedlessness, or because they were consciously destroyed – and who therefore did not receive Holy Baptism.
Baptise them, O Lord, in the ocean of Thy compassion, and save them by Thine ineffable grace; and forgive me a sinner (name), who have committed the slaying of an infant in my womb, and deprive me not of Thy mercy.
(Prostration)
O Lord, seeing my faith and tears, have mercy on my children who have died in the womb; for the sake of Thy loving-kindness, O Lord, deprive them not of Thy Divine Light.
(To be prayed throughout all of one's life.)
This concludes the Akathist of Repentance For One Who Has Aborted a Child.